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<fredrik> hey som check this out
<fredrik> inserted his penis into my ass, started to
<fredrik> drill vigorously all the way until we
<fredrik> both came. I had never experienced such
<fredrik> wonderful manlove in my entire life, and
<fredrik> er wrong text

<darknation> wtf is the point in storing quotes?
<boris_> darknation: it's like taking a photo in real life :P
<darknation> I wouldn't want photos of retards

<picklehammer> im nude right now
<xooz98> are you hammering your pickle?
<picklehammer> I was a while ago
<picklehammer> oh shir I got blood on my keyboard

<Ralphis> I'm discussing
<fragglet> its spelled disgusting

<CSonicGo> how do you clean slime off a kehyboard
<zarkyb> what kind of slime
<zarkyb> actually
<Quasar`> heh
<zarkyb> don't answer that
<Danarchy> haha

* Quasar` has quit IRC (Quit: Leaving)
<DD_133> Markov put spiders in Quasar's bed
<Markov> they're going to hatch in a few weeks when he's sleeping

<Quasar`> I remember the first time I accidentally made myself feel good was when I was like 5
<Quasar`> I stuck a pillow between my legs
<Bloodshedder> PLEASE STOP

* iori_ makes an anal sex joke
* Exl laughs at iori_'s anal sex joke
<iori_> funny, eh
<Exl> yes. quite.
* iori_ makes another, somewhat less funny and more disturbing anal sex joke
<Exl> that was sick.

<meatwad> also two gay kids fought at my school today
<Tom_D> sounds cool
<Tom_D> did you win?

<Insomniak`> Stupid fucking Google
<Insomniak`> "The" is a common word, and was not included in your search
<Insomniak`> "Who" is a common word, and was not included in your search

<mewse> i walked into gym class in my underwear in 1st grade
<mewse> i dont think i was the brightest kid around

<nxn> NO GOD NOOO NOOO NOO i JUST CAUGHT MY MOM MASTOURBATING
<Linguica> uhh
<Linguica> i hope thats a joke
<nxn> I AM NEVER FUCKING LEAVING THIS ROOM AGAIN

<iori_strippers> wee
* iori_strippers is now known as iori_
<iori_> stripper was ok
<iori_> she lit her tits on fire
<iori_> hello?

<DooMGoaT> OMG
<DooMGoaT> SQUASH THE SPIDER AND WIN AN XBOX 360!
<DooMGoaT> shame none of the 360 games are as good as the spider squashy banner

<Linguica> ok ralphis
<Linguica> if you can tell me why i shoul unban you without using the letter "e"
<Linguica> i will
<Ralphis> i am a happy person
<Ralphis> OOPS
<Ralphis> shit
<Linguica> too late
<Linguica> you lose
*** Ralphis was kicked by Linguica (Linguica)

<BigBadGangsta> Toke : women call me a Power Tool
<Toke> BBG, because you always break down?

<@Quasar`> my biological clock is ticking
<@Quasar`> 25-year-old virgin sounds worse than serial killer to me
<@Quasar`> damn I need 3 more quarters to finish a pyramid of quarters

<thefwf> lent soon
<thefwf> this is where my amazing plan comes in
<FSR|Meatwad> yeah
<FSR|Meatwad> which is
<thefwf> my new years resolution was to give up something for lent
<thefwf> and for lent
<thefwf> i'm giving up my new years resolution
<thefwf> WIN!

<nxn> I wonder if we replaced everyone in here with markovs that used our names would quasar notice
<Markov> at this point, probably not

<ZarcyB> i had a dream about irc last night :/
<ZarcyB> in my dream, everyone hated me
<fraggle> it wasnt a dream

<zarkyb> markov, what is it?
<Markov> Roses are red / Violets are blue / Niggers it is

<Epyo> *** forwarding all responses back to user
<Epyo> :o
<Epyo> you've seen my secret! I'm a bot!
<Baron> I haven't seen your damn secret! I'm a bot, now shut up.

<fireboy432> im trying to fix my game
<Tom_D> i cant help you because i'm an asshole
<fireboy432> do you know how to contact
<fireboy432> them
<Tom_D> yes press alt+f4 to contact carnevil_
<fireboy432> ok
* fireboy432 has quit IRC
<Tom_D> DUHHHHHH

<nxn> that's when shit started to get fucked
<Untamed> wait, nxn, you fuck shit?
<nxn> Untamed: I wouldn't call your mother that
<nxn> god
<nxn> fuck
<Hobbs> BURN
<nxn> stop giving me lame god damn shit
<nxn> there's no decent fucking come back for faggot ass comments like that
<nxn> just piss off you bitch
<Untamed> go and titfuck your ass
<Bloodshedder> what the FUCK

<mewseWork> ok i'm homoe now
<mewseWork> i mean homo
<mewseWork> I MEAN HOME

<dn> is it really wrong to love ytmnd? like, wrong in the same way that loving children is wrong?
<@SargeBaldy> what's wrong with loving children?
<@SargeBaldy> i mean an emotional sense that's weird, but what's a few times up the butt?
<@Sangueffusor> scarring
<@SargeBaldy> pfft, there are societies where people grow up fucking
<dn> your basement is not a society.

< Danarchy> I was 285 2 weeks ago
< dn> you're like a stone heavier than I was during my XXL phase...
< CSG> Stone?
<@Sangueffusor> 1 stone = 14 lbs
< Danarchy> the Scots havent made it past the dark ages so when they weigh people they put them on a balance scale and weigh them against stones
< dn> yeah, well what do american's use? Asteroids?

* Xenophon_ follows up by cockslapping CSonicGo
<thefwf> FINISH HIM!
<Bob> block block high punch
<thefwf> use your special move!
<Bob> back forward low punch!
* CSonicGo has quit IRC (Ping timeout: 480 seconds)
<Insomniak`> FATALITY!

<SargeBaldy> heh lüt, hear about kat's demise in a car crash yet?
<Silverwyvern> first car crash to ever knock new genitals onto someone..

<orion> ass, did you hear me talking about di.fm dying last night?
<Assmaster> Last night?
<Assmaster> You mentioned the tax thing
<Assmaster> Something else happen?
<orion> well I'm listening to di.fm
<orion> then all of a sudden it dies
<orion> and I hear my roommate on the phone "and then she put it in my ass"
<orion> and I try to frustratingly click on any mp3s I can find
<orion> and xmms bugged out
<orion> and i cried

<Climhazzard> that guy spammed me for some reason o_O
<thefwf> because you're cake
<thefwf> and love the dicks
<thefwf> wtf
<thefwf> I meant gay
<thefwf> how the hell did i type cake

<Quasar``> "Over nine thousand!"
<anarkavre> put vegeta and nappa in the story too
<Quasar``> who?

<Torn> well, once I tried to take a birth control pill, made my nuts hurt for 24 hours

<Torn> "my cock smelled like a banana for a whole week!"
<Quasar`> ^____^
<Quasar`> it's dinner time

<Insomniak> ow owow
<Insomniak> ow
<Insomniak> i hit myself in the nuts playing air guitar
<Insomniak> again
<nxn> darwin is hard at work

<Quasar`> notice fraggle's damn british spelling too ;)
<Quasar`> he infected SMMU with it, its like a virus
<Quasar`> everything is Centre and Colour and "tally ho dear chap lets get fish and chips and go to the theatre"

<nxn> mother fucker
<nxn> i'm hungover as shit
<nxn> I almost puked in german
<Sangueffusor> as opposed to puking in english
<nxn> the class man, the class
<nxn> my professor knew I was hungover
<nxn> he asked me to ask him a question in german I was like "uhhh..." ok... ask me one in english i'm there like "uhh...."
<nxn> from that point on he kept skipping me
<nxn> I was there just squeezing my head to keep it from falling apart
<Sangueffusor> do you think maybe your partying might be having an adverse effect on your academics
<nxn> uhh...
<nxn> don't make me think man, it really hurts

<mewse> that was awesome
<mewse> err wrong window
<zarcyb> mewse: cybering? :P
* mewse licks it
<mewse> FUCK WRONG WINDOW

<hobbs> /quit works a bit better
<joe_> no i mean actually type / e x i t
<nxn> /exit
<Faint> it doesn't do anything c joe? c?
<Danarchy> wait, does that actually work?
* Danarchy has quit IRC
<nxn> rofl
<Faint> heh
<joe_> ahaha
<hobbs> rofl
<Faint> no fucking way he ACTUALLY fell for that
<Faint> I'm not buying it
<Faint> he did it for the lulz
* Danarchy has joined #zdoom
<Danarchy> huh, it does

* Jon` is away: screwing his computer
* Jon` is away: screwing his computer TOGETHER

<Lut> haha wtf
<Lut> my sister just had a baby
<Lut> and i didn't even know she was pregnant

<_5hfifty> wats ur emale
<Bloodshedder> take a wild guess
<nxn> admin@dictionary.com?
<Bloodshedder> you can please go to hell
<nxn> heh

<Carnevil_> Nanami doesn't exhibit any behaviors that point to her being female
<Manc|AtWork> such as...
<BBG> Uh, what would those be?
<BBG> Flying to your house and sucking your dick?

<Quast> who the fuck is jeff gannon?
<Bloodshedder> a white house reporter
<Bloodshedder> former
<Bloodshedder> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Gannon
<Danarchy> white house reporter/gay prostitute
<Danarchy> I'm not joking either
<Danarchy> and it really raises the question: "why was a gay prostitute given free passes into the whitehouse?"
<Insomniak`> well, Bush did say he had a mandate

<nxn> god damn my mom, she got me personalized pens with "Nicholas" written on them
<Assmaster> Who's Nicholas?
<nxn> I don't know

<Csonicgo> my dad and mom met on CB btw
<xooz98> did they have cbersex?
<xooz98> "i'm unloading my shipment"
<xooz98> "OHGOD 10-4"

<anarkavre> fun tip: wanking with cotton adds extra senstivity
<anarkavre> either that or i was extra horny that day
<xooz98> it only works for me if i know the cotton was picked by slaves

<Twiztid> My gf called me gay
<Twiztid> I came back with
<Twiztid> "If I'm gay then why do I think of you when I jerk it?"
<Twiztid> There was an akward silence...
<Linguica> whats wrong with that
<Twiztid> nothing
<Twiztid> except I was talking to my grandfather

<arioch> Day changed to 11 Sep 2003
<arioch> whee
<ukiro> ok, everyone put on fake beards
<arioch> don't got one
<ukiro> grow one
<ukiro> HURRY
<arioch> I haven't shaved in 3 or 4 weeks
<arioch> I have something more than a stubble
<Cyb> I have a goatsee thing
<arioch> but that's about it
<Cyb> er
<Cyb> goatee
<Cyb> damnit
<arioch> you have a goatse
<ukiro> hahaha
<Cyb> stupid internet ruined my life

<Jehar> whoa i just found my anal wrench!
<`Edward> :D
<Jehar> wtf
<Jehar> not anal
<Jehar> typo